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Thursday, January 3, 2019

Issue 36: Artist Interview of Denise Eng

FEATURE BLOG: Singapore Artist

Real name: Denise Eng
Nick/Artist name: Denise Eng


When did you start and what made you start?
I started drawing when I was a kid. I never went to art school - I just had the same art classes as everyone in school. I loved the beautiful pictures and illustrations in the storybooks that my mum bought for me. I wanted to be able to make pictures just like those.

My first proper drawings were fan art and comics where my character got revenge on people who were mean to me (yeah, real mature, I know). I used to be on deviantArt, and people were there creating their own characters and writing their own stories - so I gave it a try. I used my art as therapy to help me deal with my negative emotions. I think it saved me from some bad situations. You can see from my work that I still use art as a way to deal with stress and to work through thoughts and emotions.

Just for you, I'm going to share one of my cringeworthy comics so you can see that everyone starts from somewhere! I was using ballpoint and pencil on printer paper back then.

Compare that to something I've done recently:

Where does your inspiration come from?
My first inspiration was actually from webcomics. I was amazed that people could make up stories and draw their own characters. Cyanide and Happiness showed me that you don't have to do amazing drawings to connect with people (though it's a bonus). I'm not good at making up different characters so I just draw about myself. Pictures that tell stories are really powerful things. I hope to be able to do that more.

Right now, I'm inspired by everything that I see. There's a picture in everything and every situation. You can make something out of the "mundane" and that's really cool.

What is your best achievement?
I think my best achievement is the moment when people talk to me and tell me that my art has helped them. I went through a period of clinical depression and went for therapy, and was medicated for 4 years. I still struggle with mental health sometimes, but I manage it better now. I try my best to be honest with how I am feeling, and it's really great when I can empower others with pictures that help them describe how they are feeling too! It's sad that people have to live with mental illnesses - I don't want anyone to feel alone in their struggles. If my drawings help even a little bit, then that's a huge win for me.

Which is your personal favourite?
I don't have a personal favourite artwork that I've done. I'm quite self-critical and I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I like all my work, but I also constantly feel that it's not good enough and can be better. Maybe my favourite artwork hasn't been created yet!

Who inspires you?
There are a lot of people who inspire me - they're Singaporean artists who work really hard and put their heart into what they love. I'm trying to be like that. I am learning a lot from them. To name a few names: Nat Kwee of @hellonatto and Jackie of @thefingersmithletterpress... I also love Yayoi Kusama. She deals with her mental health issues every day, and she puts all her feelings into her work. When I was going through my depression, I was producing some pretty obsessive work - it was through her that I understood myself a bit better. You can see an example here - it's not on instagram.

Advice for aspiring artists?
Advice for aspiring artists? Oh gosh - I still think of myself as an aspiring artist! Hahaha!

Ok no, seriously - I think anyone can be an artist. There's a creative in all of us - no matter what form it takes. My advice would be to learn how to be happy with yourself.

Don't keep trying to copy everyone else, and don't play the comparison game. Copying is good for learning, but it only gets you so far. There's only one of you! Comparing yourself with others is only good if you are inspired to keep going, otherwise you end up paralysing yourself with how "you will never be good enough". You might think your art looks bad now, but just keep going - you'll only get better. Be patient and enjoy the journey. The tools don't matter either. You don't need a fancy iPad Pro (though it helps a lot), or a graphics tablet or whatever. It's you, and your eyes and your hands and pen and paper, and that's all you need to start.

When you learn how to be happy with yourself and your style, you will begin to find your artist's voice. I'm still looking for mine, but I'm beginning to be OK with that. The journey is just as important as the outcome - who knows where your journey will take you?


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@ARTFULLYSG


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